Joke: There is a monkey in the bar

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.
The man asks the barman who owns the monkey.
The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."

Joke: I'm trying to prove a point

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.
After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"
He responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

Biggest cannabis haul from Ghana seized at Heathrow Airport

Border officers at Heathrow Airport have made their biggest cannabis seizure in three years after containers arriving on a plane from Ghana were found with drugs worth £4.3million.
The drugs, which weighed around 1.5 tonnes and had a street value of £4.3 million, were found in three separate freight containers filled with fresh fruit and vegetables.

Border Force officials found the cannabis in tape-wrapped compressed packages within boxes on the flight from Accra on Monday.
After being seized the drug was taken under armed escort to a secure location, where it will be stored until it is incinerated.
Marc Owen, Heathrow Director for Border Force, said: "This was smuggling on an industrial scale. It is a
significant quantity of cannabis, our biggest seizure of this kind in several years at Heathrow.
"The fact we have stopped it reaching the streets of the UK will make a substantial dent in the profits of the criminals responsible.
"The international drug trade is a vile business that Border Force officers play a key part in disrupting." Officers are trying to discover the intended destination of the drugs.

See The First Pilot Without Arms Licensed To Fly

Jessica Cox suffered a rare birth defect and was born without any arms. None of the prenatal tests her mother took showed there was anything wrong with her. And yet she was born with this rare congenital disease, but also with a great spirit.
The psychology graduate can write, type, drive a car, brush her hair and talk on her phone simply using her feet. Ms Cox, from Tuscon, Arizona, USA, is also a former dancer and double black belt in Tae Kwon-Do. She has a no-restrictions driving license, she flies planes and she can type 25 words a minute.
The plane she is flying is called an Ercoupe and it is one of the few airplanes to be made and certified without pedals. Without rudder pedals, Jessica is free to use her feet as hands. Her flight training took three years instead of the normal six months to earn her lightweight aircraft licence, had three flying instructors and practiced 89 hours of flying, becoming the first pilot with no arms.
Be Inspired, limiting beliefs can prevent you from succeeding. If you can dream it, you can achieve it.

B.U.S.T.E.D!!! Anti-Islamic filmmaker arrested for probation violation

The alleged producer,Nakoula Basseley Nakoula of an anti-Islamic film that sparked violent anti-U.S. protests, has been taken into custody and will make an initial court appearance in Los Angeles, USA.

Federal investigators had been looking into whether Nakola violated terms of his probation agreement by uploading the controversial film, Innocence of Muslims, onto the Internet and YouTube. As part of his sentence he was banned from using computers or the Internet, or using false identities.


Federal probation officers interviewed him Sept. 15 but did not arrest him. The next day he said he would not return to his home after receiving threat when he was linked to the film, which Muslims have called an insult to their prophet Mohammad.
He has not been charged with any crime relating to the making of the film.

A LITTLE WEED AND THREE SIBLINGS(A PREVIEW)

Sitting here in this class waiting for my very first masters lecture, a girl walked past my table and knocked off my blackberry phone from the table and she bent to pick up the phone only to raise her face looking starstruck, turned out it was her nude picture that was the wallpaper on my phone. She asked quietly how I got the picture and outta the initial annoyance of her attempting to break one of my most prized assets replied with "how the f**k does that concern you?!"


 and at that moment it struck me and pulled her outta the class towards my car and without resisting she got into the car with me and watched silently as I drove off to a
quiet location on campus. "was that you?" I asked eagerly like I didn't know the answer, that meant she was the girl I picked up from the club four years ago in my undergraduate years when I was still a young and wild student and it happened she was one of the few to actually matched my "wildness".
Let's take a detour into my past. I was high on weed that night and it was a Wednesday night, restless and hungry, I did head out to the nearest restaurant to the house in anticipation to fill my belly then head home to sleep only to notice the company of three girls dressed like they were going for a party and the youngest of them caught my eye and attention. they introduced themselves as tolu, Tomi and Temitope. Tomi and temi are sisters and tolu being their cousin. Temitope was the youngest and was nicknamed tush because she has high taste for fashion and at that point had just finished high school.
So I offered to buy them a meal so as to listen more to their ordeals and this lead to three different stories which I named Temitope the tush, Tomi the Barbie and tolu the damsel.

Tolu the damsel

Tolu is a dark skinned, pink lipped, tinted haired damsel. She schooled abroad far away in Malaysia as a physiotherapist and hopefully wants to be a physio for a top England football club. She's the eldest of the crew and can easily convince the girls.She is also very independent and has her own money from trading on local fabrics abroad and latest designer wears here in Nigeria. She has a boutique in the high end Lagos. She was the first to notice the stench of marijuana on me and asked where she could get some and after few
attempt at denying it, I told her she should follow me home, she said she heard it was a ladies free night at a club in town and they intend to dance that night. I told them they should wait for me while I try to find a cab and made me look like a fool when they drove up beside me in a lemon colored Volkswagen bug.
to be continued

Source: By: www.tharev.wordpress.com
www.forqheninc.blogspot.com

Rihanna Tweets Prayers, Support to Chris Brown on Day of Court Hearing

Chris Brown was due to appear in court on Monday for a probation hearing, and the performer got some
very public support from an old friend Rihanna. Rihanna tweeted words of encouragement to her onetime boyfriend, writing, "@chrisbrown I'm praying for you and wishing u the best today!"
Brown then retweeted Rihanna's message, adding, "thank u so much."
Earlier on Monday, Rihanna tweeted, "Praying for you baby, my best wishes are with you today! Remember
that whatever God does in our lives, it is WELL DONE!!! #1Love."
Brown had been scheduled to make his first court appearance in more than a year last week, but a judge delayed the hearing after prosecutors raised questions about Brown's community service.
To date, Brown has received positive feedback on his probation obligations, which came in the wake of his
2009 assault of then-girlfriend Rihanna.